An ark of Gopherwood

I like to tell stories around the campfire. Given the topic of the thread, I thought it somewhat appropriate. Although, it adds nothing to the discussion.

This is for anyone who likes the art of story telling:

I was puzzled when I saw all the debate happening over the fate of them giants in the land - that was mentioned in the good book. Then I recalled, I had read something about that once in the good book. Was it in the second or the third chapter of the first book of Dummer-ought-tobe ? I'm sorry I don't recollect off hand. But I distinctly remember something to this effect.

When Noah got the call from the Almighty to gather all the critters and load'm up to move'm out. He was supposed to get some of all of them. So, he corralled up every one of them kinds, by twos and by sevens - depending on if they was clean or not - especially if they was creepy like Dinosaurs (I'm not sure what it means by creepeth or uncleaneth - but I suspect that it was something that made them smell bad.)

However, the Dinosaurs that flew, didn't stink quite so much, so they were cleaner but still considered foul. You can imagine the spectacle - every one of them critters jammed in that boat. What an olfactory delight!

But alas, after they were underway, ole Noah realized that, as all things go, nothing gets overlooked more often than the obvious. Critters have to eat and some of them eat each other.

Them lions, tigers, and all manner of mammalian carnivores (not bears - they were hibernating), were giving the eye to his flocks and herds of clean grazers. And nothing was between them but a cage or a fence made of Gopher wood - the same thing the ark was made of. And, to make matters worse, it just so happened that gopher wood was the very most favorite food of Dinosaurs. It also occurred to Noah that, he obviously, didn't bring enough of every kind of provision he needed to feed all them critters.

Well, Noah got to thinking and figured, if them great big dinosaurs ate all the gopher wood he had stored up, and he was all too aware of how much he was able to fit in the ark ... hmmm ? The ark was made out of that stuff too. He would have to do something about this small oversight... and soon.

Well, from the looks of it, Noah realized, this trip was going to take longer than he had anticipated, and well....he did have more than one of them unclean Dinosaurs diminishing his inadequate supple of gopher wood. He was also all too aware of how many of those hungry looking mammal type carnivores he had on board and just how few tasty grazing animals he took along.

Suddenly, it all made sense, God never said anything about carnivores needing to eat clean grazers like man was supposed to, and certainly, one less dinosaur that might potentially be snacking on the ark in the near future, could only be a good thing. So, that's how Noah solved the problem of feeding all the carnivores.

When the flood subsided, they all disembarked, built a big fire of leftover gopher wood, since that was the only firewood around, and immediately bar-b-qued the last of them foul smelling flying dinosaurs, and then got drunk on wine. And, that's what happened to the Dinosaurs and Gopher wood. If'n you don't believe me - just ask me!